Q: What are the 12 steps of codependency?

Codependency is sometimes considered a &quot;love addiction,&quot; and like other addictions, it can be overcome with a 12 step program:<ol><li>Admit that you are powerless over other people, and know you can&#39;t change their behaviors and feelings</li><li>Believe that a greater power can help you get better</li><li>Make a decision to turn your life over to a greater power</li><li>Take a thorough moral inventory of yourself</li><li>Admit your wrongs and shortcomings</li><li>Prepare your to heal from your shortcomings</li><li>Ask a higher power to help you heal</li><li>Create a list of everyone who may have been negatively affected by your behavior and be willing to make amends</li><li>Make amends with whom you affected whenever possible</li><li>Continued to be conscious of your ongoing codependent behavior</li><li>Continue the quest for knowledge, improvement, and healing.</li><li>Awaken to yourself and your behavior, and strive to help others heal and practice the principles you learned</li></ol>

Q: What are examples of codependency?

Here&#39;s an example of what a codependent relationship may look like. The codependent person enters into a relationship with someone who is an alcoholic. No matter how the alcoholic partner behaves, the codependent partner will always forgive them and take them back, without ever forcing them to change their behavior. The codependent partner will go out and buy alcohol for the alcoholic partner so that they don&#39;t have to deal with the problem head-on or face the consequences of how they act. The codependent partner ignores their own need for a healthy, stable relationship, and instead puts all their energy into helping, fixing, or enabling the alcoholic partner&#39;s behavior. Both the codependent partner and the alcoholic partner continue in an unhealthy cycle.

Question 1

Can codependents have healthy relationships?

Accepted Answer

Codependents usually cannot have healthy relationships without first getting treatment for their codependency. They tend to have many short-lived relationships because their neediness often becomes too much for their partner. Codependent behavior is often ingrained in a person from a young age. Therefore, seeking help from a professional can help codependents learn how to behave in order to have fulfilling, healthy relationships.

In a healthy relationship, it's normal to depend on your spouse for comfort and support. However, healthy relationships find a balance between each person's capacity to be self-supporting and independent and their ability to need support. It's when a person needs constant support and is unable to do things on their own that things can get toxic.

Getting professional help for codependency usually involves learning what triggers unhealthy, toxic behavior in relationships, and how to avoid these triggers. It's also important that codependents recognize what is and is not normal relationship behavior, and learn to become independent by finding their own hobbies, interests, and friends outside their relationship.

Question 2

What causes codependency?

Accepted Answer

Codependency is often rooted in childhood and is caused by a child's emotional needs not being met by their parent. This could be the result of neglect, abuse, or a parent being mentally ill or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Their childhood is chaotic, unstable, unsupported, or scary, but the child is told by their caregivers that they are to blame or that there isn't a problem in the first place. When the caretaker can't provide what the child needs, the child may instead take on the role of the caretaker, or learn that those who claim to love you cannot be trusted. Codependents see that their value only comes from pleasing other people, and they feel guilt for a lot of issues that aren't their fault.

Question 3

What are the signs of a codependent person?

Accepted Answer

The signs of a codependent person include feeling responsible for another person's feelings or behaviors, lacking trust in your own ability to make decisions, difficulties communicating your needs to others, failing to set proper boundaries, or valuing the approval of others rather than valuing yourself. Many times, codependent people find themselves in relationships with unhealthy, emotionally harmful people because they have a desire to fix them. The codependent person will usually enable the other person's problematic behaviors and bad habits by bailing them out when they're in trouble, constantly coming to the rescue, repeatedly giving the person second chances, or accepting poor excuses. The codependent person's feelings, self-worth, and happiness are so rooted in the other person's behavior that they can no longer function independently.

Question 4

What are the 12 steps of codependency?

Accepted Answer

Codependency is sometimes considered a "love addiction," and like other addictions, it can be overcome with a 12 step program:

Admit that you are powerless over other people, and know you can't change their behaviors and feelings
Believe that a greater power can help you get better
Make a decision to turn your life over to a greater power
Take a thorough moral inventory of yourself
Admit your wrongs and shortcomings
Prepare your to heal from your shortcomings
Ask a higher power to help you heal
Create a list of everyone who may have been negatively affected by your behavior and be willing to make amends
Make amends with whom you affected whenever possible
Continued to be conscious of your ongoing codependent behavior
Continue the quest for knowledge, improvement, and healing.
Awaken to yourself and your behavior, and strive to help others heal and practice the principles you learned

Question 5

What are examples of codependency?

Accepted Answer

Here's an example of what a codependent relationship may look like. The codependent person enters into a relationship with someone who is an alcoholic. No matter how the alcoholic partner behaves, the codependent partner will always forgive them and take them back, without ever forcing them to change their behavior. The codependent partner will go out and buy alcohol for the alcoholic partner so that they don't have to deal with the problem head-on or face the consequences of how they act. The codependent partner ignores their own need for a healthy, stable relationship, and instead puts all their energy into helping, fixing, or enabling the alcoholic partner's behavior. Both the codependent partner and the alcoholic partner continue in an unhealthy cycle.

Question 6

Is codependency a mental illness?

Accepted Answer

While codependency is not recognized as a mental illness, it can sometimes co-occur with one, like depression or anxiety. Codependency often develops as a coping mechanism in childhood when a child's primary caregiver doesn't give the child's emotions proper attention and recognition. Codependent people usually have problems in relationships like low self-esteem, an inability to set healthy boundaries, and a need to fix or please other people constantly. They often prioritize others over themselves and believe that their own needs aren't important. Even though codependency isn't considered a mental illness, those who struggle with codependency can still benefit from therapy or counseling.

Question 7

Can you recover from codependency?

Accepted Answer

Recovery from codependency is absolutely possible. The first and most important thing is being able to recognize the symptoms of codependency in yourself. Start by setting simple boundaries and staying away from people who consistently violate those boundaries. Realize that you will never be able to please every person or fix their problems and that you aren't responsible for the way anyone else acts or feels. Take all the energy and devotion you put towards caring for others and put that back into caring for yourself. A therapist can help you identify areas where you struggle and can suggest ways to help you break the cycle of codependency.

Can codependents have healthy relationships?

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